Faithful With Little

Last night, I sat in our Wednesday night class at church, listening intently.  

Praying that God would use something that was said to speak to my weary heart.

(I have been in a bit of a dry season spiritually, and I was thirsty for a word from the Lord.)

As I listened to our teacher speak about having a heart of obedience, and how to prevent spiritual boredom, my mind began to drift.

Am I obedient to God?  Like, truly obedient?

If so, how is it that I still feel “bored”.  

Why do I feel like the calling God has placed on my life is still so far away.

Why am I not making any progress?

Snapping out of it, I heard something along the lines of,  “if you are faithful with little, God can trust you with more”.

Faithful with little?

How am I not faithful?

Almost two years ago when I left my very fulfilling career to manage our household, raise our children, and devote more time to learning the Word and expanding my ministry prospects, I was faithful.  I listened to the Lord!   After months, and months of toiling over the decision, crying to my husband, and prayer, I knew what God was calling me to do.  And I did it!  Our family did it!

How was that not being obedient and faithful?

By the time class was over I felt even more frustrated and confused than before.

And I wrestled with it all night long!

Am I being faithful with the little things?

And at this stage in my life, what does being faithful even look like?

I mean, I keep the house, I do the laundry. I do the grocery shopping. I prepare all of our family meals.  I run the kids where they need to be.  I try to pour Biblical truth into all of them.  I read the Word.  We go to church.  We’re active within the church.  

HOW AM I NOT BEING FAITHFUL!

It wasn’t until this morning that I finally heard from the Lord.

I had just gotten home from dropping our kids off at school, and I was preparing to get started on the normal mundane activities that typically consume my days.  

While doing so I said, “Okay Lord,  I want to be faithful and obedient to you.  But you know, it’s really hard to be faithful and obedient at this stage in my life when I do everything for everybody, and nine times out of ten it goes unnoticed and unappreciated”.

And just as quick as anything God said,  “You mean kinda how most of what I do for you goes unnoticed and unappreciated?  But yet, I still am faithful to you.  I never leave you.  I never stop working for you!”

(WHEW!  Okay Lord!!!)

As I sat in that moment for a little longer, God began to reveal to me that it wasn’t so much that I was being unfaithful or disobedient on a physical level, but that my heart was being disobedient and unfaithful.

Yes, I clean the house.

But I also get upset because it is ALWAYS a mess.

Yes, I do the laundry.

But I also grumble about how there is always so much laundry to do.

Yes, I run the kids around.

But I also complain because they are involved in too many activities.

Yes, I go to church.

But I also dread the chaos that a late Wednesday night brings to our family.

(Late nights + kids= early morning chaos)

Yes, I serve in the church.

But I also get overwhelmed when I am asked to do more.

I have been going through the motions of obedience but never truly desiring to be obedient to the Father.  (Kinda how my kids are with me every time I ask them to clean.  They’ll do it… but they aren’t gonna be happy about it!)

This season in my life seems so far away from where I feel God is calling me.

And as a result I have viewed the mundane activities of being a stay at home wife and mother as a burden, instead of a stepping stone on the path God has laid before me.

No, I can’t see the next stone on my path, and I have no idea when it will appear out of the fog that is the vision of my future.  But, I know it will!

And when that day comes, I want to be prepared!

I want to have soaked up every last bit of knowledge, and understanding that I possibly can during this season and be able to share that knowledge with others.

I want my heart to be faithful with the day to day mundane responsibilities, so that when God is ready, I can be trusted with more!

So today, (and hopefully every day from here on out) I will strive to have a heart of faithfulness and obedience towards the Father. 

I’m sure (like 100% sure!) that I’ll still get frustrated with the amount of laundry that I have to do, or that no one else in this house seems to know how to pick up after themselves, but I will also try to remember that by serving my family in those ways, I am serving the Lord!

“Servants, obey in all things them that are your masters according to the flesh; not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing the Lord: whatsoever ye do, work heartily, as unto the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that from the Lord ye shall receive the recompense of the inheritance: ye serve the Lord Christ.” ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭22‬-‭24‬ ‭