We had a birthday party for our baby.

Birthdays for a kid with divorced parents can be awesome!

Two sets of parents =  double the presents, double the parties, and double the cake!

I mean, if the kid plays their cards right, they can get everything on their wish list.  Why wouldn’t they love it?

But for some reason our sweet daughter had different plans this year. 

Several months ago our girl came home and said, “My daddy is having a birthday party for me at his house, and I want all of my family to come.  Even you Mommy.”

Ummm…. excuse me?  Did I hear you correctly?

You want me, your bonus dad , your bonus sister, your Mamaw and Papa, and your Granny to come to your dad’s house for a birthday party?

You can just about imagine the look of shock and false excitement on my face. 

While we’ve had one other joint birthday party in the past, it was before I remarried.  It was also before a very painful court battle that took place a year and a half ago.

Since then things have been tense.

Honestly, there have been times within the last year when it has been difficult to be in the same zip code as my children’s father, let alone within the same house.  Don’t worry… I’m one-hundred percent positive that he feels the same way.

But, our daughter didn’t know that.  She was oblivious to the tensions of the last several years, which is just the way we like it. 

And she wanted a party!

She wanted to be with all of the people she loves most in this world.  At the same time.  In the same house.  She wanted to be surrounded by love.

So, we did a thing.

An uncomfortable, awkward, somewhat cringeworthy thing.

We had a birthday party for our baby.

Her dad hosted the party in his backyard.

I bought a rainbow tablecloth, and unicorn cups.

Her dad rented a big bouncy house for her, and her friends to enjoy.

I made two dozen mini cakes for them to decorate.

Her dad made “squishy-bobs” (shish kabobs) at our daughters’ request.

I bought a unicorn piñata, and filled it with the candy of her choice, pop rocks.

Her dad hung her piñata in a tree, and ran to get the bat we had forgotten.

Her bonus dad made sure we stopped by the grocery store to pick up the specific chips our daughter requested.

Her dad sat up chairs in his backyard for all of her guests to be comfortable.

I hand drew a unicorn on a posterboard so they could play “pin the horn on the unicorn”.

Her dad, and bonus dad stood beside the grill and discussed how the meat had been marinated.

Her bonus dad took tons of pictures for us to look back on. 

And, her dad, her bonus dad, and I all stood proudly beside our daughter as she opened her gifts.

Our girl slid down her bouncy house slide.

She hit her piñata.

She ate her “squishy bobs”.

She decorated her cake.

She pinned the horn on the unicorn.

She opened her presents. 

With her entire family there to watch.

We had a birthday party for our baby!

Was it easy?  HECK NO!

There were moments that were extremely uncomfortable, and many of the normal pleasantries were painfully forced. 

But, I would do it again IN A HEARTBEAT if that’s what makes our girl happy. 

You see, at the end of the day it’s not about us.

It’s not about new spouses, or court battles.

It’s not about pride, or competition.

It’s not about our comfort level.

It’s about them, and showing them every moment, of every day that they are loved.

And our baby felt LOVED.

At one point, my girl sat at the tip top of her bouncy house slide, and yelled, “Momma!  I’m so happy!”  

And that my friends, is why WE had a birthday party for our baby.